Without her, without him
People attending our online Dementia Conversations have often lived through years of caring. They are able to talk about the experience of loss, equivalent to a bereavement, as dementia alters their loved one and makes two-way communication on subtleties and feelings more difficult.
Some have now experienced bereavement though the death of their loved one. After those years of exquisite devotion and 36-hour days of attentiveness, spirit and self-worth can slump – dangerously.
It is wonderful to hear stories of recovery:
‘I am playing the piano again – a retired minister has come to live in our flats and she wanted hymns. That is how it has started. My hands are out of practice and the joints are not so mobile – but we are improving. There are plans now for other sorts of music’.
‘This woman who could not find anywhere to live because she comes with horses and dogs, has come to our residential caravan. We have the space and we just love having her and her animals. D would have loved it. We talk and plan things almost as I did with D. The adventure which he and I began, has life again.’
‘I sit in wonder that our grandson shows musical talent on the piano and trumpet – He has not had lessons but just seems to have it within him how to play – tunes and chords – It is a pleasure. Without her, he would never have been. None of this could have happened’
‘I sit in our garden. He planned it and made it as it is. He is here’
Each week we post a blog from David Jolley where he shares his personal views on relevant subjects.